Well, you can now be raptured up with full assurance that your business will not go unattended to. "How's that?" you ask...well, You've Been Left Behind.com, of course!
That's right, the kind people at You've Been Left Behind.com will store for you 50 emails to be sent out in case of your being raptured (by the way, you sure do have a lot of reprobate friends who aren't being raptured...). They also have data storage services. All of this for the low, low cost of $40/year! Store up those digital treasures!
My question is: What if you wrote 50 really mean, nasty emails and as you're being raptured, they're sent out....does God unrapture you? These are the theological questions of our time.