Sunday, January 20, 2008

Continuing Tilling's 'When asked'

As Chris Tilling has given a go at this, I figured I would.

When asked about whether the resurrection actually happened....

Spong: Well, as a former Episcopal Bishop let me just say that it is certain that Jesus did not actually rise from the dead. Did I mention that I’m a former Episcopal Bishop? This resurrection nonsense has to go – we have to modernize Christianity. Episcopal Bishop…

Wittgenstein: What do you mean by “Did” and “Resurrection” and “Happen”?

Zwingli: Did you just deny the resurrection? Would you like to take a swim in Lake Zurich?

Ehrman: Interestingly, I’ve just written 6 books in the last week on the subject – the answer’s no – read all about it!

National Geographic Society: We’re staying out of this one – we’ve learned our lesson.

History Channel: But not us! Watch next week as we have a panel of people who have no clue what they’re talking about propagating sexy new theories on the resurrection!

John A.T. Robinson: Jesus would be rolling over in his grave if he knew what you people were saying about him.

Irenaeus: God smites heretics – just letting you know.

T.D. Jakes: You better believe Jesus rose from the dead – and his new clothes were super blinging. You know Jesus was stylin’ and profilin’ post-resurrection, he had his Easter clothes on, son!

Joel Osteen: Now -*smiles* - I’ve not actually read the Bible, but I am aware that there’s some talk of resurrection. Honestly, though, I think the most important thing is whether Jesus wants us to be rich and the answer is obviously - - - send me money to find the answer!

Donald Miller: Lets snuggle – mmm mmm. Who wants to make s’mores and talk about how we feel when we say the name Jesus? You do? Well yay – Christ-hugs for everyone!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Sargon of Akkad and Nimrod

My first post of the new year and it's not even about the New Testament. But, my question is: Could Nimrod, son of Cush, be Sargon of Akkad?

My reasons for asking:

1) Neither Nimrod nor Sargon are names, but titles.

2) The Bible records that Nimrod founded the city of Accad (אכר) and Sargon is from "Akkad". Nimrod also founded the city of Nineveh and there was a mask of Sargon found in Nineveh.

3) Sargon is the first empire builder in antiquity. Nimrod is credited with founding Erech (Unug or Uruk, the oldest city in antiquity).

Could these two be the same people?